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Le Yourabusedbitch Ov Hr 1 Your Abused Bitch Girl Looks Like a Bitch

Le Yourabusedbitch Ov Hr 1 Your Abused Bitch

That will explain it all.

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You know Jacqueline92 doesn’t know shit about this band. I mean just look at these guys. It’s obvious know of the two token white guys in the band or “group” doesn’t play the bass. Just listen to Walk the Dinosaur. That bass is too funky for anyone of the pale variety to wrap their head around. What the hell is the deal with those white guys anyway. It’s like the one on the wants to look like Tom Waits so bad he can’t see straight and I never knew that the guy from Counting Crows was in Was (Not Was). You know those black guys are very serious about what the do for a living. The kind of black guy that gets out of an ’86 Lincoln Continental and wouldn’t be above getting into an argument with the part time waitress at Pizza Hut because the sign says $10 large pizza and when they get to the register it’s $11.99. She tries to explain that stuff crust is extra but they don’t want to hear her shit. They will point at people with their canes and get upset over the extra $1.99 until some guy behind them just throws the money on the counter and says there you go you fucking bag of shit! Just get your goddamn pizza and get the fuck out!

I’d like to see this bitch really rock out Camptown Races. She probably wouldn’t because she’s so serious about her future career in playing 80′s hair metal in 2010. She might as well cut her hair in the style of the Seinfeld mullet. Get some pants with elastic in the waste and triangles printed all over them and just teach guitar. You also have to tuck a a white t-shirt into your pants and wear high tops to teach guitar in music stores. Ironically the Mel Bay books they make you get will start you out with songs like Camptown Races.

Fuck her! I’ll get on stage and play a bunch of TV themes like Night Court, or Hangn’ with Mr. Cooper then end the show with Careless Whisper or that song Oh Yeah by Yello. Hell I could probably move out to some trendy artsy city like Seattle and just get on stage and do sound effects. Just grab the mic and be like “Here’s a door closing” or “White noise”. I might even just get on stage and tell the audience that we are going to have a staring contest. Tell them to be quiet and just stare at each other. Slowly take my pants off and see who looks away. When I’m done just throw a bunch of candy out and thank everyone for coming out. You know you’d rather see that than this bitch play Eruption or Dream Theater or something that sounds exactly like it but not quite as good as the original.

Could be worse though, I had a roommate that was in a band that covered Against the Wind by Bob Seger. Then he had the audacity to say they played “face melting” rock.

I have to take my blood pressure medicine now. I need to lay down.

We’re back!

May 10th, 2010 by admin

Court went well, we were acquitted on all charges. The long arm of the law tried it’s hardest but our message of hate shall resume.

Thanks for being patience, the death threats were at a minimum. New bitches have been submitted and we are picking out new candidates as we speak.

Time in jail wasn’t that bad, still have my butt cherry.

More posts are on the way.

Lying Bitch

March 18th, 2010 by Spencer

A few days ago we were contacted by a guy who was upset because we posted a picture of his bitch on this site:

Remember her?  What a pretentious bitch!

She’s dumb as fuck, and so is the idiot who contacted us on her behalf.  For the benefit of our loyal readers and bitch-hating fans around the globe we’re going to embarrass these kids by showing you the bullshit they sent us.

First of all, this guy sends us an email last friday:

Hi, I’d like to make a request for you to remove one of the submissions made last year.
It’s of the girl you titled ‘Pretentious Bitch’.

Here’s the link.
pretentious-bitch/

She submitted herself a while back for a joke to see what you guys would say about her and she died last week in a car accident.
It’d be very much appreciated by her friends and family if you could remove the article, it’s probably not the best way we want her to be remembered.

Thanks again.

Being the caring folks we are at GirlLooksLikeABitch we were deeply concerned with the mention of death and that one of our stories might be causing undue distress to a family during bereavement.

So, in accordance with our policy we consulted the GirlLooksLikeABitch magic 8-ball to figure out what to do.  It told us to write back to the guy explaining that we think his story is probably bullshit and to ask for proof of death.  You know, like a scanned funeral pamphlet or something:- The 8-ball knows that there are a lot of bullshitters out there who’d sell their own kids to get their bitch pic off our site.  I think it likes to be absolutely sure of it’s facts and so do we.

So we wrote back to the kid asking for proof.  This is what we got back:

Well everything seems to be in order.  I should make a public apology…
Wait… Lieutenant Columbo wants to speak to me…

“There is just one more thing Sir…  I couldn’t help noticing the image size is 500×329.  Mrs Columbo does a lot of web design and she tells me that’s a very unusual image size Sir.
If I was going to steal an image of a funeral pamphlet from I guess there must be hundreds or thousands to choose from.  What if I stole the image and didn’t bother to change the size.  Then that 500×329 would act like a fingerprint Sir.”

Turns out, of the many images of funeral pamphlets on Images, there is only one that’s 500×329:

Of course, they could have just had funerals at the same place with the same style of pamphlet.  Yes that’s probably what happened.  Wait… Columbo wants me to look at the creases in the paper…


The creases have been highlighted on the 2 images and then turned red to add tension and drama.
As you can see, the marks are in all the same places because the image of the pamphlet was copied.

The lazy fucker didn’t even bother to change the names:  same Reverend officiating, same honorary pallbearers, same pallbearers.. everything’s the same except for the obvious bits that have been photoshopped by an idiot.  It’s like the shit you’d get if you asked the old lady next door to edit it for you after she downed a bottle of gin.  Nice job.

Aside from being disrespectful to Mr. Johnson, Sr. and his family by using his genuine memorial service pamphlet this shows why this nasty bitch belongs on this site. She’s a low-life, her friends are low-lifes and between them, they couldn’t bullshit their way out of a paper bag.

The humiliation must be unbearable.  Her picture’s going nowhere and must remain on this site for life.

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